A Five Tonguer: Yoann Gourcuff

This French hottie has been sizzling on and off the pitch for both Girondins Bordeaux and Les Bleus. He’s been racking up goals and assists almost faster than he’s been making new fans, and there are few who would contest he’s been Ligue 1’s best player so far this season.

The only complaint we could possibly have about Gourcuff is that he doesn’t take his clothes off enough. If he did, the HABs Offside might have to upgrade him to six tongues – a level which doesn’t exist yet but would surely be created for him the day he starts acting more Italian.

If you read the excellent Bordeaux Offside, which has been doing a stellar job of keeping everyone updated on the “original” new Zidane, you might have heard of the rumors that he’s been secretly dating French Olympic swimmer Laure Manaudou. Gourcuff has always been an admirer of female athletes, so any sportswomen in the audience should keep their hopes up.

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Category: Basic Hot Ballers, Gratuitous Nudity